Pay bill until Weak knee

Chinese new year is coming....

well i maybe practicing ND buddhism, i am also a chinese . i do believe in owing people money over the chinese new year is bad luck.

so i did something very very BRAVE today.

today is my pay day . with in 5 mins i cleared 1k worth of debts and bills....

KNNCCB!

i pay until my legs gone weak!

but this is a lesson well learn

as i am writing this blog my fucking brain is in a complete blank.

i have no idea how am i going to celebrate chinese new year and buy new clothes for CNY

i feel like fucking crying
but inside i told my self i deserved it and must pay the debts

a fellow guy from the office said this all the time
i qoute
" come out play one , one day your still going to pay back all"

its so fucking true....

in correct english (correct me if i am wrong)

"there will be a day when u have to pay your dues"

for me the time is now.......
i am bleeding now

but i am staying positive cause i believe when feb come all the money i have earned will all be mine for the taking and will not need to pay any one any more money ( well except for bills la )

and good luck will befall on me and my family which will get me out of this debtfull shit hole which we are in .

nam myoho renge kyo, nam myoho renge kyo, nam myoho renge kyo!

22nd Jan 2007

well today is a tiring day ... its been arons since i blog in.

well its been a very emotional day ....

the feeling in the office is like i am being left out of the circle ...
due to the fact i am just not as much of a drinker ... a fucker like the main players.

which indirectly causes my boss to feel that i am a underperformer.

i love my job . honestly the challanges, the company as a whole . but its not that simple as i think it was...

am i too childish? simple minded? ya i trust people too easily .
too direct . gets emotional easily ...

sounds like a girl huh ...

being simple minded wrong?
being trustful ... wrong?

then wat is right in this world?

guess i should be in the 50s 60s then die in the 2000
its where the time is more trustworthy dont u think?