Faith and my list

Well Today I made a list. Its the list of the things I would want to chant for

For Happiness & Good fortunate :
For My Family,
For Minyu and his family,
For Yongjia and his family,
For Jessica and her family,
For all Soka Gakkai fellow members,
For my fellow judokas,
For my friends.

For Mr and Mrs Ikeda's good health.
For the SGI's success in doing kosen rufu.

*I know its a damn long of list of people but very important for me to chant for but I know I am able to do it.

For Good fortunate on my employment and my future.
For My faith to be stronger as everyday passes by.
To gain to maturity in thinking and also in faith.
To be able to bring shakubuku successfully
To wash away the bad karma that I have done in past and present life.

Its a long list I know but some how I feel I am happy to set myself a target.

It had been a very tough time for me for the past 1 month or so. Cause of my stupidity and rage, I lost a lot of things along the way.

Dark times.

But i donno when i started picking up my beads and started to chant more and started to be more active in gakkai activities.
I feel enriched and has a growth for more.

I admit i was lonely and emptiness, but this lonely and emptiness let me reliese that all is not lost. I still got a treasure in my house. It revived my faith.

Nam-myoho-renge-kyo

Well ... Regroup

Now there is no more banana speaking for me

i am Aydeng
some call me alan (sec friends, tyler and porky)
some call me Aydeng (NYP friends)
some call me piggy ( my ex gf Jessica)
Ah pui (tyler & porky)
Ah Fat (Dad)

Which ever you call me ... i am me Fan Ay Deng...

I am going through tired times ....

but i dont want to reinvent my self.... cause i have been reinventing my self 2 times liao ...

now its just a glitch in my life....

for now i want to Regroup

I promise myself i would want to keep the good side of me but change the lousy side....

La'Revolution!

Aydeng Speaks

Well.....

The Banana Speaks....

Well...

This marks the end of the banana adventure....

well cause i feel that the things i write ... are just shit .. plus i shouldnt make every one sad and miersable and depressing of my life ..

i hope all the pple who reads my blog will not get depress....

i thank you once again for lending your support and try to be friends with me

i know i am a lousy person in like but i would not kill my self for this ..

i will try to keep my problems to my self and solve them my self .....

thanks jessica ... i love u, u will have a great life from now on... and u always have a special place in my heart...

Thanks porky ... i know u dont bother about my problems now and u dont want to be infected by my gloom ... understandable and thx for giving me good judgment ...

Thanks tyler.... u are pissed at me dulan me for being a crazy person ... i hope we can still be cool

relax i will not be beaten down by gloom from now on ....

i just need to move on....

The Banana Finishes his blog ..... for now......

ARgh~! no 2!

The banana speaks

Argh ~! no 2!

Argh ~! i fucking feel like shit .....

Can some one just shoot me in the leg so that the bullet pain can take over this pain of mine!

Fucking Shoot me!!!!