I ran ........... i ran ....... i ran ......... but it caught me.........

28th Janurary 2005 1250am

i suddenly changed to my running gear...... i just ran .... just ran ......... as if something is chasing me
so i ran keep running but the feeling was great escaping from that thing just run the wind in my face .... so nice so good so calming ........... but then i stopped ... i walked home from the place i stop i tot that thing was gone ....... when i was reaching home i cried ......... cried like a lost child who was missing in a lonely place where no one was around ........ i just cried ..................... tears just came
i cried like a baby i wanted to find some one to hug some one to come to me and hug me like i was a 1 yr old whom just fell down....................

in my mind i felt i missed a lot of somethings in my life

i missed all the happy things i have in life......... i feel so pain so lonely at that pt of time i want a hug.

i wanted to feel like a small child again

oh how i miss ........

i miss jess kisses when we hug and she saying she loves me .......
i miss tyler my best friend jioing me out to hang out and do stupid things and we always laugh .......
i miss the times me and my dad go fishing ............
i miss my mother's cooking and she being around the house and us toking ...........
i miss my sister's inncoent look and laugh when she was just a baby as i was playing with her ..........
i miss my judo .... the judo that i would not need to be entangled ..........
i miss my judokas when they were screaming judo all together and how they really love it ........
i miss my times at chinese new year ..... the time where i was always looking forward for new clothes............
i miss my army friends whom i always hang out at night at the coffee shop ...............
i miss my classmates whom we study at the library when free taking pictures together...........
i miss my lecture mates whom we tok and joke and go out even though we not in the same class........

i cried i sat at the grass and cried ........... i really really really miss all those things ...........
i really do wish that they would all come back to me .................... i am now trap in a place where its dark and lonely and no one to tok to ........................