Well... Aimless i am

The Banana Speaks

Well... Aimless i am

Well it was 2 am on a thusday morning i had a very big big blow to my personal life . With the help of close friends i reliese that i am no one yet. living in a well thats how i see my self. Getting out of the safely zone... hrm its something that i have not tried before to be honest.

Being a ego cheapo bastard as i am. i admit i am no saint ....

I WILL NO LONGER COMPARE MY SELF TO 2002 AYDENG as that Aydeng was at least fit

I WILL NO LONGER TALK ABOUT HOW I FEEL ABOUT OTHER PEOPLE as to be honest most people dont give a fuck shit about how you feel about them neither do they would think a sec more about you.

I WILL LEARN from my past. ego is a main block of mine . But i will keep my pride. As much as i have a huge ego i still want my pride as that is all i got left.
ego yes can be get rid of but not with in a sec i am still human am i i need to learn .

that day was simply always a ego crushing time . well i appricaite it as i dont need it.

A lot of people does no understand a shit i talk about. well too bad i no longer feel i have to share stories or Philosophy

but i will set my self as a good example
to my families
to my GF
to my Close friends

setting a good example does not mean i have to prove to any of the above i am good. Hell no i just feel i am no there yet . not a bit

Respect ...

i used to desire that. I would kill for that, for porky and tyler they know .
the desire for respect is so fucking big it turns to Dellusions to me.

Well there are people who give me respect cause i am older or i am big size or the things i do in my past.

well i dont mind the Barbarian, the Gorilla or Steel Man.

Cause i am happy that at least people bother to give me a nick.

Respect is being earned. Not being asked for. at least i do that now.

I do feel hurt that my younger friends do things for me cause they feel i threaten them to do so.
well i its my part of being that loud.

well i am truthfully sorry for my part.

well the night cycle incident really was a learning thing for me.. reason that they came is not the desire to learn. just to give me face.... well i dont want that to be honest lol

my objective was to pass down a losing interest. i guess by forcing is really really my bad.

I would not stop seeing good stories that inspires me.
Cause thats what give me the passion to keep going.
for this i am not wrong
In others pt of view my action seems useless

well like porky said
we give you comments and advice . but its you who make the judgement of what we say.

i donno if its the same meaning as
in our pt of view some things are right but may not apply to you.

hopefully its the same .

i will not change like a whole person cause it would not be ME!

but i will change to a better person . changing my weakness.

i am no saint i need time.

For those who do not understand wat am i writing about most of this entry. its okie cause its for me to read 30 years from now .
to see how screw up i am when i was 25.

The Banana have Spoken.